Friday Funnies
- Schecter
- Posts: 708
- Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:37 pm
- Kayak Make: Viking
- Kayak Model: Profish EVO IV
- VHF Call Sign: ZMW8098
- Location: Auckland
Here's hoping Goddess Gaia will keep us warm over the Winter.
Here she is now taking care of the world~
Here she is now taking care of the world~
- Attachments
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- Warmth-of-Mother-Nature--21769.jpg (55.68 KiB) Viewed 4478 times
Viking Profish 440
PB: Snapper=79cm. Rogers Road, 26/10/14
PB: Gurnard=34cm. Orere Point, 17/06/15
PB: Kingfish=75cm. Omaio, 13/02/16
Manurewa Marlins RLFC. The Home of Joe Galuvao, Henry Fa'afili, Greg Eastwood, Daniel O'Regan, Jesse Bromwich,
Kenny Bromwich, Peter Hiku, Ligi Sao, Siliva Havili.
- Mental
- Site Admin
- Posts: 10230
- Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:31 pm
- Kayak Make: Stealth
- Kayak Model: Evolution 465
- VHF Call Sign: ZMS4156
- Location: Kaukapakapa
- Contact:
Yea I know it's Tuesday but...
Phoenix Kayaks - Hornet
Stealth - Evolution 465
Ramco - Fishmaster 580 My BIG kayak!
...and the countless other kayaks I've owned
Stealth - Evolution 465
Ramco - Fishmaster 580 My BIG kayak!
...and the countless other kayaks I've owned
- Schecter
- Posts: 708
- Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:37 pm
- Kayak Make: Viking
- Kayak Model: Profish EVO IV
- VHF Call Sign: ZMW8098
- Location: Auckland
That time of the week.
Viking Profish 440
PB: Snapper=79cm. Rogers Road, 26/10/14
PB: Gurnard=34cm. Orere Point, 17/06/15
PB: Kingfish=75cm. Omaio, 13/02/16
Manurewa Marlins RLFC. The Home of Joe Galuvao, Henry Fa'afili, Greg Eastwood, Daniel O'Regan, Jesse Bromwich,
Kenny Bromwich, Peter Hiku, Ligi Sao, Siliva Havili.
-
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Thu May 29, 2014 2:21 pm
- Location: USA
Schecter wrote:That time of the week.

-
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Thu May 29, 2014 2:21 pm
- Location: USA
Think those two are from San Antonio.Hairy Little Dwarf wrote:Finally, after dozens of email scams, dead ends and wasted time, I have finally found the perfect way to get that sought after six pack, AND still be able to eat pies and drink beer.
Behold! the Instant 6 Pack![]()
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- Peace
- Posts: 375
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:12 pm
- Kayak Make: Barracuda
- Kayak Model: SOT Fishing Pro
- VHF Call Sign: ZMW5048
- Location: Auckland
- Contact:
https://trademe.co.nz/739362744" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Stella 8000FA
Have a read of the comments before its sold
Stella 8000FA
Have a read of the comments before its sold

- Hainesy
- Moderator
- Posts: 8281
- Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:20 pm
- Kayak Make: Viking
- Kayak Model: Reload
- VHF Call Sign: ZMW 2196
- Location: West Harbour
Priceless !!Peace wrote:https://trademe.co.nz/739362744
Stella 8000FA
Have a read of the comments before its sold
- Fish'N'Snork
- Posts: 478
- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:32 am
- Kayak Make: Cobra
- Kayak Model: Marauder
- VHF Call Sign: The Yak ZMW2544
- Location: Flat Bush
Has the vibrator been regularly serviced?Peace wrote:https://trademe.co.nz/739362744
Stella 8000FA
Have a read of the comments before its sold
Sent from my LG-D802 using Tapatalk
Less Negativity And More Positive Encouragement Makes For A Better Life For All.
New Zealand......
The Best Place in the World to live if ya Broke.
"Whole life balance, Daniel-San" ("Karate Kid").
Kia kaha, kia toa, kia manawanui ( Be strong, be brave, be steadfast and sure).
New Zealand......
The Best Place in the World to live if ya Broke.
"Whole life balance, Daniel-San" ("Karate Kid").
Kia kaha, kia toa, kia manawanui ( Be strong, be brave, be steadfast and sure).
- Mental
- Site Admin
- Posts: 10230
- Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:31 pm
- Kayak Make: Stealth
- Kayak Model: Evolution 465
- VHF Call Sign: ZMS4156
- Location: Kaukapakapa
- Contact:
ADFD - Do you or someone you know suffer?
Phoenix Kayaks - Hornet
Stealth - Evolution 465
Ramco - Fishmaster 580 My BIG kayak!
...and the countless other kayaks I've owned
Stealth - Evolution 465
Ramco - Fishmaster 580 My BIG kayak!
...and the countless other kayaks I've owned
- Hairy Little Dwarf
- Moderator
- Posts: 7023
- Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:39 am
- Kayak Make: Phoenix
- Kayak Model: Hornet
Phoenix Hornet - Specialty Assault Craft
Dad! Dad! Look at his fish! It's way bigger than anything you've EVER caught! - Nosey 7-8yo boy on opening my icebox to father strapping down his $XXX Stabicraft 759(?) - Gold. Pure Gold.
Dad! Dad! Look at his fish! It's way bigger than anything you've EVER caught! - Nosey 7-8yo boy on opening my icebox to father strapping down his $XXX Stabicraft 759(?) - Gold. Pure Gold.
-
- Posts: 3726
- Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 8:33 pm
- Kayak Make: QK/Ron Augustin
- Kayak Model: Torres/Seabear/ Albatross etc.
- Location: Papakura
- Hairy Little Dwarf
- Moderator
- Posts: 7023
- Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:39 am
- Kayak Make: Phoenix
- Kayak Model: Hornet
Copied the design, but all it did was lock the door to the house and now I can't get in!
Phoenix Hornet - Specialty Assault Craft
Dad! Dad! Look at his fish! It's way bigger than anything you've EVER caught! - Nosey 7-8yo boy on opening my icebox to father strapping down his $XXX Stabicraft 759(?) - Gold. Pure Gold.
Dad! Dad! Look at his fish! It's way bigger than anything you've EVER caught! - Nosey 7-8yo boy on opening my icebox to father strapping down his $XXX Stabicraft 759(?) - Gold. Pure Gold.
- Limitless
- Posts: 1591
- Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:47 pm
- Kayak Make: Viking
- Kayak Model: Profish, Espri, 2+1
- VHF Call Sign: Limitless
- Location: Viking Kayaks, Matamata
- Contact:
Snap 4T wrote:another one.... stickers that I got recently


ZMS8574 LIMA INDIA MIKE INDIA TANGO LIMA ECHO SIERRA SIERRA - practised your phonetic alphabet yet?
The current fleet: Profish Reload, Profish GT, Profish 400 Lite
The historic fleet: too many to mention... the adventures since 1974 have seen lots of kayak carnage
Find me at Viking Kayaks in Matamata... you gotta love our sport!
The current fleet: Profish Reload, Profish GT, Profish 400 Lite
The historic fleet: too many to mention... the adventures since 1974 have seen lots of kayak carnage
Find me at Viking Kayaks in Matamata... you gotta love our sport!
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- Posts: 1310
- Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:56 am
- Kayak Make: Ocean
- Kayak Model: Prowler 4.5 x 2
- Location: Russell, Bay of Islands
Ah, I have the blonde model, that closes the door when I return home on my machine...Hairy Little Dwarf wrote: Copied the design, but all it did was lock the door to the house and now I can't get in!
-
- Posts: 3726
- Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 8:33 pm
- Kayak Make: QK/Ron Augustin
- Kayak Model: Torres/Seabear/ Albatross etc.
- Location: Papakura
Darwinism Awards-
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat, Gracie, looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it, dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles no where to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
Submitted by Dick, Willia
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat, Gracie, looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it, dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles no where to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
Submitted by Dick, Willia
Last edited by paddlesnap on Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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